Monday, August 20, 2012

I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For

"So my friend, how is your walk with Christ ?" asked Elder Lee. "GOOD ! Not Bad !" - those were the options to cut the conversation short, but instead I said, "Being born in a Christian family and being one by default has it's perks and yeah it isn't easy." Before he could start replying my answer, I've reached my stop and we said our goodbyes. 

A few weeks back, I was doing my routine trips to my uni and was standing next to a missionary in the tram. He kept looking at me, waiting for the right time to share the gospel. Hahha, once I had eye contact with him, the young Chinese chap muttered: "How are you ? Name's Elder". After the usual formalities, I told him that I was a Christian and I'm already attending the church in Melbourne Central, just to reduce his effort of sharing the good news with me. Fast forward to the part where he ask how's my christian life. Well that's exactly how I feel right now with regards to my Christian life, not going up nor going down, Stagnant. In fact, there are some parts doubting my own faith. 

You see, being born in a Christian family and receiving the good news since young has made me kinda numb to Christianity. Furthermore, unlike some of the church members, I'm a rebellious and lets say a curious soul who wants to know more rather than just accepting the truth. But lately, through out all the CGs, and Sunday school classes, I realize is it really that good being a Christian ? For example, just the other day in CG, I suddenly got really fed up with the fact that during the old testament, we gentiles were all condemned to death and life in eternal hell. I mean, WHATS UP WITH THAT ?! Why would God create us and just protect the Jews but destroy all others, are we not HIS children ? If so, why create us or rather why put the tree of knowledge and eternity in the garden in the first place. Well, I guess one possible explanation is JUST BECAUSE HE CAN ? (from "Prometheus"), which is pretty depressing.

Don't get me wrong, I'm still 100% grateful and I guess by His Grace we were all given a second chance to live eternally. It just all these little thoughts are putting questions and doubts in my little human mind. Ever since I was a kid, I was spoon-fed with all the christian stories and how wonderful our God is. But here's the problem, like many who are the same like me, we have not personally experience the wonderful Love of God, or rather are still yearning for more. It's pretty simple: How can we appreciate the significance of light with the absence of darkness ? I really admire those new Christians, who are so recharged and so strong in faith, probably cause they have experience the light ? I don't know. 

So, here's the big question and let this be my prayer as well. Can we truly appreciate light if we are in a brightly lit room or must we venture out to the darkness...Hear my prayer O Lord and guide me. Amen. 

I have climbed highest mountain
I have run through the fields
Only to be with you

I have run
I have crawled
I have scaled these city walls, these city walls
Only to be with you

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

 I believe in the kingdom come
Then all the colors will bleed into one, Bleed into one
Well yes I'm still running

You broke the bonds and you
Loosed the chains
Carried the cross
Of my shame
Of my shame
You know I believed it

But I still haven't found what I'm looking for
But I still haven't found what I'm looking for

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Somewhere only we know

Can't help it, after listening to Keane's song, I realize how underrated this band is. Their songs are just mythical and touches the heart ! So, here's my post dedicating to one of my favorite bands of all time, KEANE ! Their songs helped me through my first break-up and subsequent ups and downs of life as well.

When their first hit single "Somewhere only we know" came out, Brandon played it like 10,000million times a day. After almost 7years after I first heard the song, somehow I still find myself listening to this song over and over again. It is such a beautifully made song with a hidden story behind it !  It's just magical ! The song seems to talk about the simplicity of life against the complexity of reality, but at the same time, it felt like a sad love story bout a couple who used to love each other. Due to the challenges of life perhaps, they eventually got drifted apart, and one of them (in my mind, it's the guy) is trying to salvage the relationship by going back to the place which they first met and fell in love. I guess everyone has their own interpretation haha, so yea, put aside all the Gangnam Style and K-POP tunes for a minute or two, and check out some of their songs..and decide for yourself, whether these guys are good :)

"And if you have a minute, why don't we go
Talk about it somewhere only we know? 
This could be the end of everything,
So why don't we go,
Somewhere only we know"

Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Short but Enjoyable Trip back to Malaysia

Was back in my homeland for a short 10 days for my cousin's wedding and thought it was appropriate to blog about it. 10days ? Yeap ! I was crazy enough to skip the first two weeks of my new semester just to go back to Malaysia. Although it was short, it sure was a fun trip :) Caught up with some of my college, church and high-school friends, tho I must confess I do feel a lil bad for not meeting up with a lot more of close friends. So, for any short-comings, I sincerely apologize ! Time was truly against me !

Anyway, just a short summary of what I did back in Malaysia. The first half of the break, I was busy staying at home doing my assignment =.= FUN MUCH ! Damn sien....You see, I took a course during the winter break, Portfolio Management. During the first class, I nearly went to the course adviser to request for a change of program cause I was sooo homesick and just wanted to fly back. Thank God I dint tho, cause it turn out to be the most rewarding finance course I ever took ! Regardless of what marks I would get, I was happy to be taught by such a passionate lecturer, it was truly an enlightening one month crash-course program.

Alright coming back to my trip, to be honest, I felt kinda left out. Things kinda change back in Canaan Baptist. Gone were the days of Mafia or Snowflake. Now it's just BANG!BANG!EMPORIUM!, boardgames mania..ha-hah not my cup of tea ! Whatever happen to all the human interaction, lies and deceit which can only be experienced in Mafia ! Was it not better compared to BANG ? I don't know, I may need some time to get used to it. For now, board-game outing is a NO-NO for me.

Of course, the assignment dint deter me from doing my favorite pass-time: FISHING ! I went not once, not twice but three times to Rawang. It was on the second trip, I finally got into the wall of fame of the fishing pond, as I finally got the JackPot, winning RM600, by catching a 20.5kg Redtail Catfish ! O boy, was it fun ! 

Owh, I manage to catch the Manchester City game as well. They were really impressive ! Compared to all the previous clubs which I watched, I think they are the best..out-passing, out-maneuvering our players. But I guess our national team were at a disadvantage ! People PUASA leh ! how to play ?! Come back next time, when our Harimaus are all fully fit ;)

Finally, to the wedding part. Nothing much to say, but congrats to my dear cousin and his bride ! It's a really a fairy tale come through for both of them, a testimonial to all, that Long Distance Relationship can work if you actually bothered to ! They've been together for almost 10 years. They first met during high school but only got together in Taylors doing their A-Levels, after that they were apart (Well sort-of, one's in Cambridge, the other in Cardiff) during Uni. Even after graduating, they were still divided by distance, as my cousin was working in Singapore. I really admire how they could endure so much hardship and loneliness. I for one, understand the hurdles and challenges of LDR, and in fact still facing them today. But despite, all that, they finally got married on the 27th of July 2012 :) KUDOS to them, while I strife to stay committed and endure for my relationship as well. 

Looking good with jping, matt and brandon.

Happy People

Anywho, that's about it for now. May blog bout some random thoughts if I have the time. Till then, take care peeps !

How have you been ? I'm doing just Fine ;)

It's been almost one year or maybe two since I last blogged. It's pretty sad seeing so many blogs gone inactive, really missed those days where I could just spend hours staring at the computer, blog jumping around and reading people's post. But I guess Facebook has taken over the role aye.

After a long hiatus, I'm back ! Woot ! Kinda glad I dint remove my blog like most people. I still enjoy reading people's blog, even my own post. Looking back, my life has really turn out to be way different from what I first planned. I always wanted to go to the UKs to study because I thot Australia was too mainstream. But due to my own fault: yes I was that dumb to plagiarize my own personal statement, I ended up in ANU and graduated with Distinction average and am currently pursuing my master degree of finance in Melbourne (why finance, that's a story for another day).I'm not saying that both ANU and Melb Uni are bad, they are after all among the top unis in the world, but it sure turn out different that I originally planned. 

There's so many sudden turns of events in my life, and I'm just amazed how each of them would eventually have an impact on my life. Be it in rejects or acceptance of my proposals to my crush, or small decisions such as whether I should eat SUPER KITCHEN Chilli Pan Mee or Jojo Pan Mee (prob not a good analogy, since both would result in agonizing pain in the toilet the next day). I guess what I'm trying to say is Life don't always turn out the way we want it. We may be skeptical at first, but I guess in the end no matter what path you choose, as long as you put your heart at it, things would eventually work out :)

PS: To the Future Ben, in case you decide to look through your boring blog again, "Life is good, don't worry too much bout the future or linger in the past, live in the present ! You'll just be fine"